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CHAMPION—August 23, 2010

           Champions are as much subject to the laws of the universe as are any other people. “Plum” is the nickname of one favorite Champion granddaughter and also happens to be a carpentry term meaning a line, which is exactly vertical, or perpendicular to a level horizontal line.  “Level” is another nice Champion grandchild and the spirit of his name goes to the definition that there is no part higher than another; having an even surface; being in a plane parallel to the plane of the horizon.  It is said to be horizontal at a given point if it is locally perpendicular to the gradient of the gravity field.  Now considering the topography of the environs around Champion, being at the bottom of several different hills and the churchyard being the only flat place for miles, ‘level’ might be hard to find.  Fields in these parts are most generally kind of up and down, gravity notwithstanding.  There have been devices invented for just such a situation (sometime before February 2, 1661 by some guy named Thevenot) and Champion carpenters have them and have put them to excellent use.  To put the icing on the cake, that shiny slick galvanized roof went on just before the short hard rain on Friday and so all is well.  The even surface of Champion prevails and is highly decorated by its new structure. 

           An unhappy individual forced to live elsewhere and to eat sour grapes assailed the Champion mailbox a year or so ago.  His complaint was that Champion’s Bright Side is abbreviated as “BS” and his inquiry was whom did Champion think it was fooling pretending to be such a metropolis, since it is only a wide spot beside a road at the end of the pavement.  This note caused stir and offers to sell the malcontent a couple of dry acres over in Chigger Flats that had just been logged off—such a bargain.  While there has been no reply it does occur to some Champions that the Bright Side is not the only BS around.  There is a business in Mountain Grove called Mountain Grove BS and a patron there the other day overheard some discussion of the ‘specialness’ of Champion builders.  And so they are.

           “Did you hear about Alvin Barnhart’s watermelons?” one Champion asked another.  He gave a couple of them to the silent auction over at the Skyline VFD picnic last week.  One of them weighed 62 pounds and the other just 60 pounds!  A report from one of the purchasers was that it was delicious.  They are long watermelons about a foot in diameter and very sweet and luscious.  “The rind is kind of thick but it is tasty too.”  So Alvin and Beverly have once again given the Skyline Fire Department something quite wonderful.  Ruth Hamilton picked a big bunch of okra that sold well in the auction.  It was big, but tender.

           Eli and Emmy Rose celebrated their Mother’s birthday on Sunday.  Eli is excited about starting school and Emmy has more to say these days.  There were many phone calls and reports of lots of new puppies and quail.  Their cousin, Kalyssa, will have her third birthday on August 31^st.  She spent Sunday night with her Grammy all by herself for the first time.  Foster started to school on Monday and so all the little Krider grandchildren are growing up.  Teagan will be four months old on the 30^th.  Cousin, Madelyn Ward, will start to kindergarten this year.  Those Brixie children up north of Champion are growing up and so it is with all the Champion children.  It represents the passage of time and seems more pronounced, as Champions get older, especially when the intervals between visits are long.  This is another of those universal laws.  Bonnie Parker’s beau wrote a note to Henry Ford to praise him on the quality of his V8 automobile saying that they were his favorites when he could get away with one.  He signed it “Clyde Champion Barrow.”  Perhaps someone will use Champion as a middle name soon to better exemplify the appellation.  “No, no, Hon. These is the Ozarks.  The Appellations is back east.” 

          A regular reader of the Champion column who lives in Iowa happened to be at the Skyline Picnic this year.  She said that as often as not she has a hard time following just what is going on in the Champion News, but she reads it anyway and sometimes figures it out.  Champion!  An email from a real Championista says, “I’ve heard that this year is the hottest on record since the 1880s.  I’ve given it some thought and decided a perfect outdoor environment for me is 67 in the daytime and 72 at night.  Know of any place on earth like that?”  Reply with an answer to that question to Champion News or to Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.

           It is to be noted that Pete Proctor is now officially retired.  He had a long career with Town and Country and is, these days, doing just what he pleases.  A lot of what pleases him is his work with the VFW Post 3770 over in Mountain Grove.  Pete is always pleased to remind us of the importance of supporting our Veterans of the Armed Services.  In addition to the Love and Gratitude of the Nation they have served, the Veterans returning from current conflicts will have requirements for understanding, opportunity and support from the community.  Champion.

          Gardeners will be glad that the Plant Place and Gift Corner over in Norwood will be opening up again soon.  Pop in there for an Almanac for September or copy one from the www.championnews.us website.  The 26^th and 27^th will be good days to plant root crops as will the first of September.  Time flies!  One Champion writes, “Time’s fun when you’re having flies.”

          The Loafing Shed over on the west side of the square in Downtown Champion has been getting some good use as regular Champions, visitors and kibitizers all have the chance to see history in the making.  The Champion School Reunion will prove to be an eye opener to many who rarely get back.  “Nothing to do, Nelly darling?  Nothing to do you say?  Let’s take a trip on memory’s ship back to the bygone days.  Sail to the old village schoolhouse.  Anchor outside the school door.  Look in and see there’s you and there’s me—a couple of kids once more.”  Sing your favorite school days song those good old golden rule songs.  That’s Champion—Looking on the Bright Side!